Kate – I appreciate your observation about pots calling kettles black. I think there’s a fair bit of truth there. Her means are just more subtle. I mean, we all try and exert control, don’t we? It’s not like we’re just seahorses with our tails wrapped around a reed waiting for the current to switch and send krill our way, right. Anyway, your observation eases my mind some.

I wonder whether I would want to let go of that control and responsibility, for a day or a week or a month, whatever. As exhausting as it is to always be “on,” I wonder whether I would actually be able to let go and not be in charge.

I tend to doubt it.

And, as a general rule, those who make accusations to others about their need for control… are usually just deflecting attention from their own control-freak-ish-ness.

I’m with Thor- hang in.
xoxo

This blows for you.

It’s likely horrid and shitty and sad right now. I can’t imagine there are any answers either.

But being controlling for your children’s sake? I can’t imagine that’s a bad thing. If she’s so totally different from you, and unwilling to try and be something more, if both of you are stuck in your corners, then it’s not going to work.

Your children are stuck with whatever happens for the rest of their lives-that matters, and you know that. They’ve lost their mother, and you’re damned careful they won’t lose another.

It makes sense to me dude. Hang in there.

I really like the reset button metaphor. I’ve been using it a lot to understand what’s happened in our lives. It is a journey of discovery and rediscovery. I think perhaps I may have known what I need, what we all need. Now I believe I have the courage to pursue it.

Thank you for the metaphor.

Both hurt, so it’s really just an intellectual game.

I believe that, deeply. Maybe this is the universe pressing your restart button, bringing you along a journey of discovery and rediscovery so that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt what you need, what you all need, in this life.

Does that make any sense?
xo

Simone Weil said, “It is grace that forms the void inside of us and it is grace alone that can fill the void.”

All we can do is try to keep our hands cupped and open and ask God to teach us how to keep our hands cupped and open.

Pax et bonum, my friend.